i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
