Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
