Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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