i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
