So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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