we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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