I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
