can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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