babies were throwing up all over the place
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
