I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
