I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
