I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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