Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
