I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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