Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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