u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
