I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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