Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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