She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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