i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
True strength comes from lack of pants
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
