Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
