ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
