Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
