The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
