I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
