I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
