They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
