I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
