So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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