Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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