Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
