You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
