before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
