I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize
