Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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