who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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