lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
