Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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