i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize