just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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