"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You're like the curious george of whores
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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