when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize