Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
