Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
