The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
