Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
