dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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