That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
