And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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