Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
