but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
