it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
