Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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