6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
