He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
