Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
